fatigue.

im tired.
im bummed.
im emo.
im not me.

oh man.maybe being tired makes you EXTRA emo.not only feeling bummed or disappointed or depressed makes you emo alright.but im experiencing both.which kinda sucks.it's like extra extra EXTRA emo.

tessa and i got emo today at the same time.somehow.impromtu.im emo till now.cute huh.we started getting emo after we got our lunch and went to sit and eat.we put down our food.washed our hands.went back to consume our food.the moment our butts hit the sit and we said our grace,we fell silent and no more words were exchanged.all we did was to stare at our noodles as they entered our mouths to be assimilated.at the stall,i had already told ben that i was taking the chopsticks and spoons for him and jim.guess that fell on deaf ears or he hadnt cared.they came back with their food shortly with an extra set of utensils EACH.the reason being they thought that i might've poisoned their utensils.that pissed me off real bad cos i was emo already.i flung the chopsticks and spoons i had collected on the table and went back to my food.i said nothing.i was stoning and caught up with my thoughts when suddenly ben asked me why i was so emo,just staring and eating my food.i gave him a weak smile and continued.that surprised me cos even jim my best friend (since i dont know when) didnt even notice that i was feeling down and yet ben who ive only known for 2 months noticed.good observation skills there. (: so anyway,i just carried on with my food.and when i finished,i muttered that i needed more food.jim kinda wondered since when needing more food was part of my dictionary.ha.i walked tot he prata stall to get my rice thing but there was none.rarrr.i walked back and started sucking on my ching chow.that made even more emo cos i was staring into blank space due to the fact that there was nothing else to do.then at 1432h,tessa and i decided to leave for english remedial class.we didnt know where to go and were walking among the uniform group people.we entered 2 LTs wrongly and we pretty embarrassed.finally we remembered that it was at one of the classrooms.we went it for a brief 30minutes and were let off.once we step out of the classroom.we emo-ed.or rather continued with it.we then went on to look for people to go for ice cream with us.no one would.no one had the time to.so off we went.emo-ing away.we too bus 74 to the daily scoop for ice cream on a nice warm brownie. (: that made us happy.but we still emo-ed.as we did,we talked,for about 2 hours.it was good to know we could support each other when it comes to such matters. ((:

this has been emo week.

toodles~

muacks!

`mandalovesyou

the 21st century.

you know what everyone tells you about the 21st century, about everyone being more open to matters, everyone being less conservative or conventional, everyone different from the past.HA!

nonsense.

all the talk about that is all but what our society really is.the example used most commonly would be that of the girl and guy relationship.like how guys and girls are at equal standing, how now even girls should take the initiative when it comes to romantic relationships.not that i think it's a bad thing, but i've seen and experienced so much that i'm discouraged to do so or even resistant towards this ideal.

guys like to say that they appreciate brave girls who make the first move, but this often results in the guy not appreciating the girl as much when they get together and him not being as determined to make the relationship work.SEEE.the guy has to work for what he wants and if he gets it, he'll feel a sense of achievement and belonging towards the girl.only then will he make sure that this relationship lasts at all cost so that his effort put in before would not go to waste.

i guess i probably sound like a scorned reject.but it's only my opinion. (:

toodles~

muacks!

`mandaslovesyou

mean lil' me.

I'M SUCH A MEAN PERSON.
I LAUGH AT PEOPLE WITH BAD FAKE ACCENTS.
yes.it was so so.bad.

i'm sorry ):
i promise i'll try to control next time.
i've tied a ribbon to my finger to remind myself not to. (:

toodles~

muacks!

`mandalovesyou

height.

i wish i were tall.or at least taller.then my body would be longer.and my fats would be stretched.then i would look slimmer. ((: makes a lot of sense doesnt it.cos im short and stout-y,my fats are all consolidated.therefore they're more visible.i see so many folds.lol.

I WANNA BE TALL!

i wanna be an air stewardess.dont you think it's so cool to be paid to fly?i like serving people so that's not an issue.but.RARRR!im not tall enough.booo ): life's just not fair.so since i cant be an air stewardess,i decided that id be a news anchor instead.after all i get to sit on a high chair and report news.my height wouldnt be an issue anymore. ((:

i think im just pampered,lazy and spoilt.i dont even wanna work hard to earn my own keep.i guess now we all know why i actually wanted to be a tai tai.a rich one at that.i get to collect money from my rich gong gong.make myself pretty and slim.and eat all that i want at the same time.buy all that i want,not worry about cash being a problem.being able to afford as many children as i want.et cetera.

anyway.i would like to declare that BOBBIE JEN and AMANDA CHUA are the official CAMERA DARLINGS of the ACS(Independent) Youth Leaders Summit. yup yup.throughout the whole powerpoint video,there were 4 pictures of us in total.more than any other group of people. (: wheee.we were cam whoring without doing it ourselves.haha!arent you so jealous.

OHH.and i dont really like holidays cos i get more homework than a normal school week.ESSAYS!!rarrr.

well well.it's still the holidays anyway.ENJOY YOURSELVES PEOPLE!!takkaire (:

toodles~

muacks!

`mandalovesyou

busy busy me. ((:

i like being busy.somehow.gives me a great sense of achievement after ive done it all.lol.i sound like a workaholic.but actually not. (: i slack during the normal working hours or others and start doing my english oral commentary at 12am then sleep at 230am.i think im crazy.ohh wells.at least i finished my work right! this week has been pretty cool.ive had about 2 non-lesson schooldays.so slack. ((: i love being in an independent school.lol.i love the holidays especially.lalala.

but work is CRAZEE.ohh wells.guess i'll get used to it SOMEHOW.i have to,right.

but i had a lot of fun at the campteen alumni exco retreat yesterday.we went crazy.as usual.dealing with perfectly decent matters.but somehow.our minds were thwarted.with i dont know whats.well.shuib was so SUPER SUPER CUTE!!he was like ultimate anti-climax.lol.every move he took or every sound he made was just so retarded.so.funny. ((: then ada was the flea.ahmad just called her that.he's damn mean.lol.i was pretty off too.i was super slow.they told jokes and i laughed only 1 minute later.that's how slow i was.rarrr.but we all had fun alright.ohh.and the first time since forever i saw freddie.lol.like since the last time i was supposed to meet him for my ice kachang and he ps-ed me i havent talked to him since yesterday.lol.basically it was just nice to see all of them again after such a long long long time and im just super glad we're all gonna be working together again.wheee.i miss them all.i miss you, you and YOU! ((:

ohh wells.this week had been pretty.cool i'd say.somethings beyond my wildest imaginations have happened and emotions ive never emoted in a long long time just came back.i feel like another person already.holidays ARE therapeutic. ((:

toodles~

muacks!

`mandalovesyou